Long John Insignia

The Long John Index Service of Canada

Hey Lovelies!

Here’s an unscheduled post of whimsy. I was doing some job hunting yesterday and while I was doing some research into a company I may like to do some writing for and found this gem.

It’s called the Long John Index. Some of you may be confused as to what a Long John is. Long Johns are pieces of thermal pants or underwear. They will look like this:

Long Johns.jpg

They look weird, but they’re really comfortable, so I’m told, and they are really good at keeping you warm. I personally don’t wear them as I prefer to complain about the cold weather as much as I can. Plus, I can also make fun of my partner whenever he wears his and he can’t come up with a rebuttal other than “at least I’m warm!”

So, back to my story. I’m combing the Daily Hive’s website and found this article and thought, why not? So, I clicked on it and low and behold I’ve been introduced to the index.

The site has a lovely disclaimer up at the top that reads:

Disclaimer: The Long John Index is a ‘not-scientific-whatsoever’ method of measuring when, and if, one should be wearing a pair of thermal long underwear, known more commonly in the Dominion of Canada as ‘Long Johns”.  It is used for entertainment and gambling purposes, and should not be confused with your preferred weather service. 

They also have a somewhat scientific way to calculate the need for wearing Long Johns throughout Canada:

The Index runs on a scale from 1 to 5; 1 being the lowest, and 5 being the highest, and starts at the Freezing/Melting point of 0 Degrees Celsius ( or 32 Degrees Fahrenheit). The simplest way to understand the Long John Index, is as the temperature drops, the Long John Index goes up, and subsequently, the time you should be spending outside without wearing Long Johns decreases.

And voila! You put all of this into a picture like the one below and you have your humorous, and I’d say fairly accurate, index! The one image displayed below is from January 31st, 2018.

Jan312018 - LJI.jpeg

The index is updated fairly regularly – they try to update it everyday, weather permitting. 😛

If you do want to check out more indexes from the rest of the site you can check them out here.

Seriously this time….

Until next week!



(P.S.: I don’t know why I find this so entertaining. It seriously made my day yesterday and it’s still making me chuckle today.)


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Danielle Adams

Danielle Adams

Danielle Adams is a writer and editor for a local marketing agency. She has formerly worked as a writer for the Investing News Network and as an editor for Whetstone, a bi-annually published literary magazine. Aside from writing, Danielle has an unabiding love for all marine life and the outdoors. She loves taking long hikes with her fiance and cooking delicious meals in the kitchen.


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